Cuncitjan is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, calm mongoose.

Cuncitjan created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cuncitjan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cuncitjan, he will destroy your favourite star.

Cuncitjan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Cuncitjan's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near rats while wearing brown rings.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Never eat green fruit.