Sugyarplin is a god.

He takes the form of a large, almighty crocodile.

Sugyarplin created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugyarplin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sugyarplin, he will turn you into a worm.

Sugyarplin's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sugyarplin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near seals while wearing cyan kilts.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sugyarplin.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt rats.

5. Always count to seven before sleeping.