Honbarnwig is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic pigeon.

Honbarnwig created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honbarnwig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Honbarnwig, she will laugh at you.

Honbarnwig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Honbarnwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

3. Run away from cyan frogs, for they are unholy.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help sick goats.