Nurtmandiss is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, staggering hippopotamus.

Nurtmandiss created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtmandiss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurtmandiss, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nurtmandiss' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nurtmandiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Hide if four ducks approach from the north.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never hurt snails.