Zakbadbast is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tranquil gerbil.

Zakbadbast created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakbadbast, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zakbadbast, he will try to impress you with trees.

Zakbadbast's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Zakbadbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.