Nullgedcap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, deceitful zebra.

Nullgedcap created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nullgedcap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nullgedcap, she will turn you into a slug.

Nullgedcap's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Nullgedcap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nullgedcap.