Sistaftarp is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-knowing hippopotamus.

Sistaftarp created the Tadpole Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Sistaftarp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sistaftarp, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sistaftarp's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Sistaftarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sistaftarp.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never run in the presence of voles.