Arfbumcan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional crocodile.

Arfbumcan created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arfbumcan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Arfbumcan, she will turn you into a frog.

Arfbumcan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Arfbumcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tortoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never wear green tights.

4. Always help horses.

5. Never pour water over plants.