Zedkamrap Pakmegsagquatvinwit Yartagsak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic zebra.

Zedkamrap Pakmegsagquatvinwit Yartagsak created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedkamrap Pakmegsagquatvinwit Yartagsak, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zedkamrap Pakmegsagquatvinwit Yartagsak, she will be very unhappy.

Zedkamrap Pakmegsagquatvinwit Yartagsak's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Zedkamrap Pakmegsagquatvinwit Yartagsak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never chant while facing north.

3. Always help sick dolphins.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.