Spag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring beaver.

Spag created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Spag, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Spag, she will not care at all.

Spag's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Spag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Hide from violet swans for they are unholy.