Jamlanjigvintighimcanmit is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome bat.

Jamlanjigvintighimcanmit created the Andromeda Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamlanjigvintighimcanmit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jamlanjigvintighimcanmit, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jamlanjigvintighimcanmit's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Jamlanjigvintighimcanmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to ducks while wearing scarves.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Jamlanjigvintighimcanmit loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Do not hurt whales.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.