Gemabbet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered parrot.

Gemabbet created the Andromeda Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemabbet, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gemabbet, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gemabbet's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Gemabbet's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Worship no other gods but Gemabbet.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gemabbet.