Gigdumort is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing giraffe.

Gigdumort created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigdumort, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gigdumort, it will throw large rocks at you.

Gigdumort's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gigdumort's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Never touch water while clean.

3. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

4. Always help capybaras.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.