Bumparkdap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, overgenerous eagle.

Bumparkdap created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumparkdap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bumparkdap, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bumparkdap's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bumparkdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at dusk.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always remove stockings before touching platinum.

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