Hitflapfig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful hyena.

Hitflapfig created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitflapfig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hitflapfig, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hitflapfig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hitflapfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never hop in the presence of dogs.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing orange tights.