Hapbissis is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy unicorn.

Hapbissis created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapbissis, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hapbissis, she will turn you into a mouse.

Hapbissis' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Hapbissis' Holy Commandments

1. Hapbissis must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Always count to five before sleeping.

4. Never eat corn on fasting days.

5. Never record secrets.