Donhakwan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic jaguar.

Donhakwan created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donhakwan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Donhakwan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Donhakwan's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Donhakwan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Do not eat rice.