Fagfedxemkonfumfadpangfas is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish donkey.

Fagfedxemkonfumfadpangfas created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Fagfedxemkonfumfadpangfas, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fagfedxemkonfumfadpangfas, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fagfedxemkonfumfadpangfas' most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fagfedxemkonfumfadpangfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three hamsters in a large pit.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not study bacteria on holy days.