Kimyartrill is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, bad-tempered faun.

Kimyartrill created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimyartrill, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kimyartrill, he will turn you into a duck.

Kimyartrill's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Kimyartrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black tights.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never look at comets.