Cinbadtimarparndubzimsan is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful monkey.

Cinbadtimarparndubzimsan created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinbadtimarparndubzimsan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cinbadtimarparndubzimsan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cinbadtimarparndubzimsan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Cinbadtimarparndubzimsan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Never skip in the presence of elders.