Stafcankam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective bear.

Stafcankam created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Stafcankam, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stafcankam, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Stafcankam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Stafcankam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink alcohol.