Govril is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, generous spider.

Govril created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govril, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Govril, it will turn you into a tree.

Govril's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Govril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed limes to bats while wearing mauve shorts.