Kimwegsit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, deceitful parrot.

Kimwegsit created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimwegsit, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kimwegsit, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Kimwegsit's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kimwegsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near otters while wearing violet dresses and balancing nine platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Badgers are not to be trusted.