Rawtabtim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited spider.

Rawtabtim created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawtabtim, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rawtabtim, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Rawtabtim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Rawtabtim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never wear hats.