Cusshakpak is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, weak whale.

Cusshakpak created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusshakpak, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cusshakpak, he will turn you into a rock.

Cusshakpak's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cusshakpak's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cusshakpak.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near dogs while wearing green trousers and balancing nine tin spheres on your chest.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.