Latbapweezimfliscambim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless faun.

Latbapweezimfliscambim created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latbapweezimfliscambim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Latbapweezimfliscambim, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Latbapweezimfliscambim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Latbapweezimfliscambim's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Hide if eight eagles approach from the south.

4. Erect nine gold sculptures of Latbapweezimfliscambim on top of important buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.