Tonfenfeb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid eagle.

Tonfenfeb created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Tonfenfeb, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tonfenfeb, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tonfenfeb's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tonfenfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tonfenfeb.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Never paint your hands gray.

5. Do not covet oxen.