Cubyimgod is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, pitiless penguin.

Cubyimgod created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Cubyimgod, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cubyimgod, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cubyimgod's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Cubyimgod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never feed strawberries to aardvarks while wearing trousers.

4. Cubyimgod loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

5. Do not kill mice.