Bastnartxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humane pigeon.

Bastnartxuck created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bastnartxuck, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bastnartxuck, it will ignore you.

Bastnartxuck's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bastnartxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Do not keep five ducks in a large pit.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Do not eat oranges.