Bellarpbem is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, humane hippopotamus.

Bellarpbem created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bellarpbem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bellarpbem, he will be mildly annoyed.

Bellarpbem's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bellarpbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never look in ponds.