Titjarngepfubbod is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate snail.

Titjarngepfubbod created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titjarngepfubbod, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Titjarngepfubbod, she will destroy your home planet.

Titjarngepfubbod's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Titjarngepfubbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. You must pray to Titjarngepfubbod six times a day.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Titjarngepfubbod.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Titjarngepfubbod in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.