Loopbonyok is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest dragon.

Loopbonyok created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbonyok, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Loopbonyok, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Loopbonyok's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Loopbonyok's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.