Bemcibpark is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, temperamental raven.

Bemcibpark created the Milkyway six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemcibpark, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bemcibpark, it will destroy your home planet.

Bemcibpark's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bemcibpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Never proclaim while facing west.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

5. Do not name children after bats.