Tonvad Fadfitbitgem is a god.
He takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome
bear.
Tonvad Fadfitbitgem created snails two years ago.
If you believe in
Tonvad Fadfitbitgem, he will not care.
If you do not believe in
Tonvad Fadfitbitgem, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.
Tonvad Fadfitbitgem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.
Tonvad Fadfitbitgem's Holy Commandments1. Do not shave your feet.
2. Never talk about quantum field theory.
3. Do not make images of living things.
4. Show mercy to disobedient children.
5. Never look in ponds.