Zedjarnnab is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful troll.

Zedjarnnab created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedjarnnab, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zedjarnnab, she will destroy your home solar system.

Zedjarnnab's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Zedjarnnab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near capybaras while wearing pink jumpers and balancing six nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Zedjarnnab on top of all buildings.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.