Jadnaddiss is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, sapient tortoise.

Jadnaddiss created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadnaddiss, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jadnaddiss, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jadnaddiss' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Jadnaddiss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

3. Hide if seven aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.