Bapjoplat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, wise toad.

Bapjoplat created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Bapjoplat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bapjoplat, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bapjoplat's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bapjoplat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Always obey Bapjoplat's priests.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Respect your elders.