Farontbus is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, humorless mole.

Farontbus created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farontbus, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Farontbus, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Farontbus' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Farontbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Put Farontbus first in all things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about special relativity near cats while wearing blue trousers and balancing three carbon spheres on your face.