Vedkimab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient crane.

Vedkimab created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedkimab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vedkimab, it will turn you into a dog.

Vedkimab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Vedkimab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Hide from yellow gulls for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bark.