Loplenarmbod is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, stupid snake.

Loplenarmbod created the Sunflower Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Loplenarmbod, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Loplenarmbod, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Loplenarmbod's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Loplenarmbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about cell theory.