Vonfonbetsitmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, thoughtless hydra.

Vonfonbetsitmeg created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonfonbetsitmeg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vonfonbetsitmeg, it will not care at all.

Vonfonbetsitmeg's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Vonfonbetsitmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near otters while wearing mauve rings and balancing six lead spheres on your head.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not take Vonfonbetsitmeg's name in vain.