Quatsogtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a large, pitiless snake.

Quatsogtonk created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatsogtonk, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quatsogtonk, he will be mildly annoyed.

Quatsogtonk's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Quatsogtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near tortoises.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.