Fabmilcab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless pig.

Fabmilcab created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabmilcab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fabmilcab, it will boil you in a big pot.

Fabmilcab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fabmilcab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three ants approach from the south.

2. Never adorn your feet with fawn markings.

3. Do not fashion tools from silver.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.