Babtofyar is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, calm fly.

Babtofyar created water four years ago.

If you believe in Babtofyar, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Babtofyar, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Babtofyar's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Babtofyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away from violet geese, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Babtofyar in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat green fruit.