Sabmettipsidyaktipzag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, compassionate gerbil.

Sabmettipsidyaktipzag created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabmettipsidyaktipzag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sabmettipsidyaktipzag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sabmettipsidyaktipzag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sabmettipsidyaktipzag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Sabmettipsidyaktipzag's priests.

5. Always help sick goats.