Lityimhinvonparkbet is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciful gerbil.

Lityimhinvonparkbet created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lityimhinvonparkbet, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lityimhinvonparkbet, she will be very unhappy.

Lityimhinvonparkbet's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Lityimhinvonparkbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near capybaras while wearing pink tights and balancing four gold spheres on your face.

3. Always remove rings before touching silicon.

4. Never mix strawberries with water.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

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