Tofhunmildid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, capable badger.

Tofhunmildid created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofhunmildid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tofhunmildid, he will ignore you.

Tofhunmildid's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tofhunmildid's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in autumn.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.