Ditdagveg is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, charitable guinea pig.

Ditdagveg created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditdagveg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ditdagveg, he will not care at all.

Ditdagveg's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Ditdagveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing violet shorts and balancing nine silicon spheres on your chest.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never look in ponds.