Bumvagfid is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, almighty frog.

Bumvagfid created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumvagfid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bumvagfid, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bumvagfid's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bumvagfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Never allow ducks to witness sacred rites.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

5. Never gather four great tits near doors.