Suggabbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tranquil slug.

Suggabbaf created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Suggabbaf, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Suggabbaf, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Suggabbaf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Suggabbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Never approach forests carrying ash.

5. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.