Venpadlagvin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, capable lion.

Venpadlagvin created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Venpadlagvin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Venpadlagvin, it will try to impress you with trees.

Venpadlagvin's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Venpadlagvin's Holy Commandments

1. Put Venpadlagvin first in all things.

2. Always help capybaras.

3. Do not take Venpadlagvin's name in vain.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

5. Do not wear white clothing.