Vonkzanfodbim is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fussy bat.

Vonkzanfodbim created light five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkzanfodbim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonkzanfodbim, it will turn you into a mole.

Vonkzanfodbim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vonkzanfodbim's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven sheep approach from the west.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Vonkzanfodbim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Always help rats.