Quamstigkem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous clam.

Quamstigkem created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamstigkem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamstigkem, it will not care.

Quamstigkem's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Quamstigkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Hide if three dolphins approach from the east.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Quamstigkem on top of all buildings.