Padbogmif is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, awesome meerkat.

Padbogmif created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padbogmif, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Padbogmif, he will turn you into a mole.

Padbogmif's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Padbogmif's Holy Commandments

1. Put Padbogmif first in all things.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.