Funfumken is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, annoying penguin.

Funfumken created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Funfumken, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Funfumken, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Funfumken's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Funfumken's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Run away from white rats, for they are unholy.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never talk about archaea.