Teentenyattlag Cabkemflig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, conceited alligator.

Teentenyattlag Cabkemflig created the Whirlpool Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Teentenyattlag Cabkemflig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Teentenyattlag Cabkemflig, it will jump up and down on your head.

Teentenyattlag Cabkemflig's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Teentenyattlag Cabkemflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Teentenyattlag Cabkemflig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not resist balance.

5. Never write about optics.